Intersubjective Theory

The field of couples counselling is fast moving and complex - and in many ways has little in common with one-to-one counselling. The latest specialist couples training highlights for example how neuroscience has brought new insights into how and why we may develop dysfunctional adult relationships. The work of Daniel Stern* (2004), an iconic American psychologist and therapist, is generating exciting new cross modality approaches to working with couples and individuals. David Shaddock's influential text** (1998) suggests disentangling relationships can be complicated. Of course we often just simply misunderstand each other. But deficits and difficulties that were first experienced in childhood and adolescence may be triggered by our partners. Relational psychodynamics and intersubjective theory suggest that these deficits can be addressed and that we can develop 'the healthy domains' that we need in order to have the quality relationship that we all deserve.

 

 

 

Creative Beings

We are creative beings - but may have lost our way. By taking ownership and responsibility to address this developmental damage we can again become the authors of our own lives and exert our free will and take responsibility for the quality of our relationships. This can be a challenging exercise. Facing up to our own part in a failing relationship takes courage and determination to turn it around. But this is a possibility.  Real hope exists that we can live creatively in a happy partnership. It does take commitment and a willingness to take responsibility for those parts of us that are not perfect and need a little revisiting and care.

 

 

 

 

Subtle Alchemy

Relationships, and the meeting of two people's subjective histories can feel like a seemingly magical connection of transformation, creation and love. This process, however, is a subtle alchemy which can easily be disturbed. If you would like to work with an experienced and specially trained psychotherapist to explore whether it is possible to restore a healthy fulfilling balance then get in touch. Working collaboratively with an up to the minute model of relational psychodynamics and interstubjectivity, may help you & your partner. How your pasts are present in damaging ways, is often a great starting point.

 

 

 

*  Daniel Stern (2004)The Present Moment in Psychotherapy and Everyday Life.

** ​David Shaddock (1998) From Impasse to Intimacy: How Understanding Unconscious 

    Needs Can Transform Relationships